Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
