I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
is this the sara with the beer cane?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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