Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
