And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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