I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
