That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
