dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
