I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
