Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
