my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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