bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I want to be your penis for a week.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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