I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
