I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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