I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
