pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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