That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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