You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
