Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
