Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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