Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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