god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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