3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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