She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
