Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
