Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
