my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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