You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
