she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
