The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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