Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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