Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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