i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
