I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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