Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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