you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
