yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
