your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
