I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i out mim tonsoeep
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