they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
