I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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