I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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