there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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