I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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