Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the condom got lost in my hair
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
