Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
