dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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