I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
