..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
