I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
