so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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