i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
