where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
