Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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