Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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