So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
