did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
